Category Archives: Children
Because you — yes, you my friend — have a tiny repressed artiste inside of you. Mine is a malnourished little Frenchman who wears a maroon-colored beret and smokes unfiltered Gauloises. And, believe me, Jean-Paul needs a day out!
So, whether it’s that sad sidewalk in front of your house, that bare wall by your apartment building, or (if you’re all shy like) that pathetic little piece of pavement around back, borrow some chalk from your little local artistes — or splurge on a box of Crayola Low Dust– and go at it!
What’s your repressed artiste’s name?
Baby Step #11 Where the Tiger Mother and this White Rabbit Dad Agree! (or, Recognizing Self-focus as Self-sabotage)
When you hear the phrase ‘family first’ now, do you think of the infamous Tiger Mother and roll your eyes? Well, stop it, and look at us.
No, seriously, look at us.
We look exhausted, right?
We sure are!
But guess what? We’re also as happy as we’ll ever be.
Yes, this photo depicts a unique occasion, but it reflects what’s becoming clearer to me every day:
If you put yourself first, you won’t be tired or inconvenienced much, but you won’t be happy for very long either.
My experience is that self-focus is secretly a form of self-sabotage. Like many addictive behaviors, it gives you a quick fix, but ultimately leaves you hungry.
Do I plan to tell Naomi this?
Absolutely. I believe the key will be to teach her to value her family and community at least as much, if not more, then herself. Frankly, I wish this had been more emphasized in my family and schools, but it certainly wasn’t in the culture in the 80′s and 90′s. This value has become more prevalent with the rise of the environmental movement, but I still believe this is one area where this fluffy, year-of-the-rabbit dad could learn something from the rabid Tiger Mother.
As always, would love to hear your thoughts.
Naomi just grew out of her bassinet.
2) Removing her from the bassinet.
3) Texting my wife. (“No more bass. The beast has risen.”)
4) Snapping a few last pictures of her in Ole Bassy, then folding it up and taking it down to the garage.
5) Feeling sad.
1) Yay! I can sit up in this thing!
2) Woohoo! Are we going somewhere new?!
3) Oooh, let me touch the little thing with the colorful touchy screen!
4) I didn’t know my bed folded up? Neat-o!
5) Ahhh . . . I love life.
We all grow out of things; out of places; out of relationships; out of entire ways of being.
Thus, Baby Step #7: Learning to do it in style. Gracefully.
If you’ve grown out of something, you may have just grown up a little.
Would love to hear about your experiences. And thank you — each of you — for your interest and support. In the week since launch, the 1000 Baby Steps blog community has gone over the 1,000 hits mark. I’ve put a live hits counter in the sidebar to celebrate! 🙂
Before we had our daughter, the following kid’s clothing store opened up in our town:
Cringeworthy, eh? Why would you want to tell girls that they are ‘honeys,’ while boys get to be ‘heroes’?
As yesterday’s New York Times Book Review of Orenstein’s Cinderella Ate My Daughter points out: to sell, of course!
Disney is one of the main culprits, with their relentless princess products merchandising to girls, and their Princesses & Heroes On Ice shows.
(It’s not Princesses and Princes; it’s Princesses and Heroes. Think about the message this sends to girls and, if you’re inspired, email Disney corporate: TWDC.Corp.Communications@disney.com)
Because of our disgust with the whole ‘princess-industrial complex,’ my wife and I made a conscious effort not to register for anything ‘princessy’ for our daughter’s baby shower.
A lot of princess pink happened.
We don’t believe in throwing away clothes because of their color, but I am documenting this ‘ocassional princess’ phase and will show it to Naomi when she’s a little older. My message is simple: there’s nothing wrong with princesses; it’s just that they’re not a great match for girls. Unlike princesses and ‘honeys,’ girls don’t need to wait to be rescued by princes and heroes. They can do great things on their own. They can be heroes.
So, yes, princesses are a necessary part of our world. In fact, I think they’re a great match for the most dependent beings of all — babies.
As always, would love to hear your comments!